St. Valentine’s Day approaches. As if you couldn’t already tell by all the red hearts and chocolate the stores have been pushing since like a day after Christmas.
Above, the namesake for the commercial holiday we use to remind ourselves to tell people we love them, while at the same time boosting the jewelery, candy and flower markets in these rough winter months. Saint Valentine was a priest who got caught marrying people, so the story goes. He was thrown into jail and tried to show the Roman emperor Claudius II the ways of the lord. In response he had his head chopped off on February 14th in 269. He’s considered a martyr, and according to Catholic.org
He is the Patron Saint of affianced couples, bee keepers, engaged couples, epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, love, lovers, plague, travellers, young people. He is represented in pictures with birds and roses.
To get into the loving spirit, check out this now classic Valentines Day mix by the DJ legend, Neil Armstrong. And order a gift pack CD if they’re still in stock. Check, here.
WarmFuzzy Mixtape (DJ Neil Armstrong)
So, I’m wondering, in an era of hardship, unemployment and garbage piling high to the sky in New York City what do you do this Valentine’s Day if you aren’t — you know, ballin’ like that?
And don’t get all caught up in the symbolism of Valentine’s Day that was invented for us (get the wik-history, here). That just makes it all about greeting card companies. Don’t get me wrong, you must do something special if you’re in a relationship and to make your mom happy, but don’t trip.
Front page story on Chicago’s St. Valentine’s Day Massacre in 1929.
Some people have had pretty crummy Valentine’s Days, thanks to Al Capone.
To show some love on a budget go with the no brainer: Dinner and a movie. Hell, rent a movie and watch it on the couch.
Another thing you can do, if you’re in a relationship is make your own LOVE mixtape. I know this is a solid idea, because I thought about it, then did a little searching and came across a holiday makeout mixtape by the homies Sa-Ra.
*Perfect V-Day track: Do you love what you feel (Rufus and Chaka Khan, 1979)
You can download it,here.
If you want to make your own mixtape, all the better. Just go to various blogs or search: “valentines day” mixtape zip, and you’re good.
But crafting the perfect V-Day mixtape takes thought. Make a practice mixtape first, if you aren’t too sure of your skills. Don’t rush into anything. The ladies over at hairpin.com posted a mixtape they call The Worst Mixtape Ever. Check it below, I don’t think it’s that bad.
*Perfect V-Day track: Wait [The Whisper Song] (Ying Yang Twins, 2005)
If you thought that was bad, and maybe you don’t mind DJ drops, then check out this DJ Crisis mix. I wouldn’t name a mixtape that, but I get the point. Man, R. Kelly wouldn’t even name a mixtape like that.
*Perfect V-Day track: You Remind Me of Something (R. Kelly, 1995)
Click on the pic to launch the mixtape player, or click below
“Partners in a love relationship tend to wait until they get comfortable with each other — typically three months or longer — before they reveal information that might have been a turnoff at first acquaintance. Disclosure of problems such as substance abuse, chronic unemployment or debt may cause you to question your choice. If you learn things about your companion that disturb you, it may be time to reevaluate.”
–Mary Pender Greene
Psychotherapist and Relationship Expert
The hard truth though, is that after all your mixtape making and dinner planning you could still end up with a broken Valentine’s Day heart. Getting rejected on or near February 14th isn’t what St. Valentine lost his head over. If you’re feeling a bit on the depressed side come next month, just take stock that you’ll live to see more Februaries and another chance at love. What’s worse than getting dumped in these coming weeks is hanging on for dear life when you know you’re about to get the pink slip or the boot.
The signs, according to the therapist ?
1. The connection feels more like a friendship.
2. S/he says, “I love you,” and you can’t bring yourself to say it back.
3. You have little to say to each other.
4. One of you cheats on the other.
5. There’s a feeling of disconnect as you try to communicate.
6. Drama between you is more exciting than the relationship itself.
7. Your talks about a future together seem fanciful or unreal.
8. You find you’re more likely to fight than to have fun.
9. You’re having sex mainly because one wants the other to want it.
10. S/he isn’t supportive of your work or your interests outside the relationship.
11. You find yourself looking at other, more attractive “prospects.”
12. The sex is often bad or sad.